“When Vu spoke he said that time climbed upward in layers and that with each consecutive layer the past became buried. He said that an old man like the one here in the village, he was happy simply to eat his soup every day, sleep in a dry bed, and have regular bowel movements.”
David Bergen, The Time in Between (2005)
I’m not there yet as that old man referred to above in a small village of Vietnam. But I can relate to the contentment of little expectations. Retirement can be a dreaded word for some, or a welcoming phase of life for others. I am of the latter view. I consider my career only as a means to earn a living. But it’s a perspective that is formed by practical circumstances. If I were a doctor or a judge, perhaps I would be more fulfilled and keep on working for the rest of my life. This is not to sound regretful. I hate to dwell on regrets and missed opportunities, although I struggle a lot to get rid of them on my mind. In fact, I’m blessed because I could retire at an early age. Remember the insurance advertisement that talks about Freedom 55. Well, I did it!
We know what this freedom entails – an abundance of time. The implied or oft-repeated questions are: “What do you do all day?”; “Aren’t you bored?” Well, we also know the simple answer to these questions: WE MUST ALWAYS STAY ACTIVE.
The alarm radio is set at 6:30 morning on weekdays. When my wife gets out of bed to prepare herself for work, I wake up as well (though most times I’m already awake before the radio chimes in). It’s my way of mitigating the guilt for staying home. While she’s in the shower, I go down to the kitchen and set the table for our simple breakfast of avocado, banana, toast, and coffee. Before we start eating, we salute the morning by taking our high-blood pressure pills. It has become our everyday protocol.
It’s just my wife and I in the house now. Our only daughter left home several years ago. Our two Labrador retrievers, Max (chocolate) and Parker (yellow), had passed away. By the time my wife drives out of the driveway, silence pervades the house. My first rule for an active life is to turn off the TV – but sometimes I turn it on for important news and sports for an hour or so.
I begin my morning with music. I play the guitar again and sing along with it as well. There are songs I select to practice and memorize. One of them is What a Wonderful World. When Parker was alive and heard me playing it, he would immediately sit beside me, make himself comfortable and then sleep. And when I was off key in either my singing or strumming, he would wake up, raise his head, turn around to face me, and give me a sharp look as if to say: “What’s wrong with you, man? Get it right!” I could only smile.
Since I lost my loyal audience, I just play for the sake of it. Some of the lyrics bring back nostalgia of days gone by. Like the song, In My Life – of places that have changed for better or remain the same; of lovers and friends who are still living or perhaps dead; of memories losing their meaning. I know I will never lose affection of them until the time my mind could no longer recall. I don’t play well but I can feel that the music is in me. I persevere in spite of my mediocre talent. Someday I’ll try the piano or the saxophone.
For a guy who was an errand boy during my workshop class in elementary, I am becoming a handyman. I do minor repairs in the house, although it takes a lot of courage and positive thinking to overcome my fear of screwing up the work. Doubtless, finishing the project with satisfying result breeds confidence for the next one. Painting inside and outside the house has become my area of expertise. Except for the dining room, I managed to paint the entire main floor of the house. Not bad, huh.
Gardening is another household chore I relish the most. I can spend hours and hours outside without feeling the effect of tiredness. Preparing the soil, pulling out the weeds, planting annual flowers and watering them daily at the beginning, these and many more don’t seem to me as chores. I embrace them wholeheartedly just like the sunny days which make you feel alive. You might think me crazy but I mow my lawn with a push reel. While my neighbours get their mowing done in less than an hour, I finish mine in an hour and a half or two hours (although my yard is not that big). I just consider it as an exercise.
I also learn to cook some Filipino dishes. It’s my decision what our dinner will be during the weekdays; my wife takes care of our meals in the weekend. We once watched a series of the Master Chef Show and were quite amazed on how the contestants learn to cook their lovely dishes. And the presentation, wow, it makes fine dining the best way to eat. I’m thinking of enrolling to a culinary school. But being an autodidact in all my new-found interests, I simply balk. It’s one way of saying, why spend the money when you can learn it yourself. I’m being cheap.
Once in a while I take a nap in the afternoon. It depends on how I feel during the day. But ever since I instituted a daily exercise program during the weekdays, my energy level has become consistently high that makes napping moot. For the first hour I do my stretches, focusing on strengthening the tendons and muscles of my shoulders, arms and legs. I have lots of aches and pains on all these areas of my body due to playing tennis at least twice a week. I finish my exercise routine with a 30-minute workout on our elliptical equipment.
I subscribe to the thinking that exercise should be on top of our priorities as we grow old. Not that I want to live longer, but the fear of being bedridden or staying in the hospital gives me a strong motivation to make the time. I push my wife to do the same. She prefers walking though. That’s why she likes golfing.
Another activity that we can do together is cycling. She doesn’t know how but a three-wheel bicycle will solve the problem. Several years ago, I participated in a 2-day, 165km cycling marathon in Bruce Peninsula to help Chalice, a Catholic charitable organization, raise funds for building schools in developing countries such as the Philippines. That was an amazing experience and contributed in reducing my weight to 165 pounds. I’m heavier now and battling to bring it down to that level again.
But what bring about my early retirement are these three reasons. First, of course, is financial: the mortgage is paid, our daughter’s education is over and I have a decent retirement savings. It also helps that my wife still wants to work until she’s 62.
Second, it’s about my temperament. Work for pay has never defined me. I’m as fulfilled as cleaning the house in spite of its zero value. I’ll be a hypocrite if I don’t acknowledge the irresistible attraction of job titles and their corresponding financial and social consequences. But I think they can imprison you as well. Of course, there’s no denying that money can satisfy our needs, wants and desires. Again, I’m just as happy to have a modest house, an inexpensive vehicle, 3 meals a day, adequate money to pay the bills, and affordability to travel.
And the third reason is my books. I am quite shy and a bit of a loner. During high school, my main interest was to become a solid basketball player. It didn’t take off as I expected because I was not getting any attention at all from the girls. But during my university years, my passion for books germinated. It stayed with me for a long time. On lunch breaks or off-work, I scoured the bookstores for books that had reasonable price tags. Throughout the years I accumulated hundreds of them and they are piled up in the basement and my study room. They have become my best companions. That’s why loneliness has not crept in like a dark shadow in the form of depression. But the books must be read before I pass away because I don’t want to impose on my family the problem of disposing them. So I pass most of my time reading. When I finish one, I put it in a box until I fill it, ready for donation. I already gave away several boxes, but I still have a long way to go.
Of course, not all days are cheerful in the retirement land. Some days I feel empty and lost. But I find that the antidote is to stay positive at all times and to look for something to do, including voluntary work. I once volunteered to be the team captain of two tennis leagues in Pickering. When the Pan Am games were held in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) in 2015, I volunteered my time for the baseball games in Ajax. I also became a member of the Pickering Heritage Committee. Now I contribute articles to Balita just as this one and it is giving me a sense of purpose.
So this early retirement is not the end-of-the-road that most of us take it to be. It can be an opportunity to learn and grow just for the sake of self-affirmation. Your sunset may soon be coming, too. Nevertheless, it can be very, very beautiful. It’s all up to you to make it one of the best times of your life.
Rey Moreno
Pickering, Ontario
March 4, 2020
I was a witness to some of these and I can only affirm your positivity in life and continued quest to learn and discover things that are new to you. As I always say, “Stay cool.”