I attended a baby shower a few days ago. It was a joyous occasion with plenty of goodies to eat and bags galore of presents. I heard that this is only one of the gatherings for the same purpose. There were other two on the other side of the family and of friends of the mother. The expectant grandfather has twelve siblings and the expectant grandmother has two, with families of their own. I am a part of the extended family.
It was a large coming together of about thirty adults and their children. All the seats in the huge living room were taken and there were some who sat on the floor with kids of all sizes milling around. The presents in colorful bags topped with multicolored tissue paper were in the middle of the room. The very pregnant mother and her husband had special seats close to the presents. Several tea tables laden with all sorts of Hors d’oeuvre veggie dips and diced fruit surround the guests.
It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and sunshine that penetrated the glass windows all around lent brightness to the occasion. I came early and was seated close to the center of the action beside an 84-year old lady who is a well-loved member of the family.
There was chatting all around with the latest news about family members who had not seen each other for a while; who were away in university and how proud a father was of a son who just got assigned to Afghanistan.
The expectant mother started to open the presents assisted by her husband and three adorable youngsters of ages about five to eight,. The children brought the packages to the couple one by one and pulled out the colorful tissue covers to get to the contents of each bag. A sister-in-law sat by noting down the source of each items. The bags were then passed around for the guests to inspect and admire.
There was a huge a variety of gifts, sleepers in hues of yellow, green and white, bibs and feeding bottles, booties of different designs with matching socks, a baby’s tub complete with a ducky shampoo and power, bags and bags of baby diapers, five or six receiving blankets from the regular store offering to hand-knitted ones and even a multi-colored quilt that must have taken months to hand-sew. There were teddy bears of varied sizes and colors, interesting mobiles to hang over the crib and other toys of all colors and shapes. There were piles of clothes for all occasions and season,. In a huge bag was a jolly-jumper. The largest box was stroller, complete with the car crib. There was even an antique piggy bank from one of the grandmothers.
“You know,” the matriarch beside me commented.” I did not have those things when I was having my babies. There were no baby showers then. That was about sixty years ago, I imagined. That was just after the Second World War. Mothers then used cotton diapers that had to be washed and re-washed.
My thoughts started to wander. How did we prepare for the coming of a baby in the Philippines? I have been away for more than three decades. They must be having these baby showers too, in the urban areas. I doubt if they are being held in the rural communities. For one thing, the economy in those areas may not be able to afford these presents. They are expensive. I imagine that fifty dollars would not go very far in shopping for these baby items. A feeding bottle alone costs more than ten dollars.
But of course, there are many well-to-do families in the Philippines. There are also those who have relatives abroad who may be sending money and these assortments of baby things. These disposable diapers are already popular with many mothers but they are expensive and some may not be able to afford them.
These material gifts are the expression of the love and caring of relatives and friends. Each package in this baby shower signifies the time and thoughts the giver has taken from his/her busy schedule to go to a store or on line in the computer to obtain the gifts. The gathering had been an opportunity to sit with members of the family and friends to renew bonds of blood ties and closeness that usually wane with separation. Meeting may even clear up misunderstandings of long ago the cause of which has already been forgotten.
And or course this gathering is a warm welcome to the expected addition to the family. These material things are tokens of love that enrich the expectant parents’ joy in looking forward to the child’s arrival.
The absences of such an event in communities that cannot afford them does not in anyway lessen the joy in expecting a newborn. The expression of caring may take other forms like giving away of cherished old crib to a grandchild or hand-me-down clothes from an other offspring.
Here in Canada, I notice that grandbaby showers are usually held for the first babies. The next ones are not often announced anymore and those who follow inherit things that the first baby had. Those who are very close relatives or friends without the feeling of being slighted also do giving away second-hand things.
As I partook of the steaming chili, delicious lasagna and green salad after the gift opening, my mind turned to those parts of the world wherein the basic needs are hardly satisfied Where are the babies born? How are mother and child cared for? What was used to wrap the newborn?
While the expectant mother of this Canadian baby is busy preparing the infant’s room what is that other mother doing inside her hut that is probably smaller than an ordinary baby’s room.
Would the glow of love for the babies be the same? Would economic want lessen a mother’s love for an expected offspring?
I wonder…….!
In the meantime, let us thank God for the blessings that most babies are born with in a country as peaceful and as well endowed with material things like Canada. Let us not forget that there are also families in this country that can hardly make both ends meet to whom a new addition maybe a burden. Let us not forget that we have government agencies here that assist such families. Let us help such families to access those benefits if they do not know about them.****