Laughter goes beyond being relief for a tired soul.
It is also one of the best ways to express a truth, with little pain.
No offense meant. Perhaps, a little taken?
Obviously no laughing matter; but again, why the hurt before the sorry?
*****
Ewan ko, pero madalang nang makatagpo ng matinong mapapagtanungan at kausap these days.
Kung ikaw ay may mahalagang itatanong at idadaan mo ito sa telepono, malamang na recorded message ang sasalubong sa iyo, uutusan ka pa to press a number, at ire-refer sa isa pang recorded voice. Paminsan-minsan, may music to keep you entertained while patiently waiting, hanggang hang-up ka na lang sa inis.
Aha! Tech savy ka? Puwes, bago ka makapagtanong sa mga website, magpapatutsada kaagad ito ng kung anu-anung About Us at Frequently Asked Questions. Waste of time ang pagbabasa dahil hindi mo makikita ang sagot sa question mo. Ang siste, hahalukayin pa ang iyong personal information to log in; at kung ang datos mo ay nadamay sa illegal use, baka wala ka pang matanggap na sorry for the inconvenience. Na-hack ka na ba?
Dealing with some inutile technology is not to deal with it anymore.
Talagang mas mainam ang person-to-person communication. However, be prepared to end engagements with those na kapag tinanong mo ng mahusay ay:
- Hindi ka papansinin at titingin sa kalawakan.
- Biglang may ibang gagawin at nawawala na parang bula.
- Nagiging tameme na para bang sinabing “my lips are sold.”
- Mamimilosopo o sasagot ng pabalang; kung hindi iibahin ang usapin.
- Ang reply ay another question.
- Parang inatake ng constipation.
Iwas pikon na lang kaya binibigyan ko ang aking sarili ng dalawang mamera, upang humanap at bumili ng ibang kausap. Diyan nagiging relevant ang pasemplang na “my two cents worth.”
Sometimes, kahit kailangan talagang mag-usisa, I just hold my tongue. But before that, wash hands muna.
I also stand to be corrected: Hindi lang isda ang nahuhuli sa bunganga. Pati sinungaling at kubid din pala.
Wait. Bad ba ang mag-ask kung sino ang humiram ng pustiso ni Ingkong Bosyong?
*****
Sa harap ng pantyon: “Miss na miss kita. Sana ay narito ka, kasama ko.”
Harinawa’y wala sanang mahiwagang ominous echo.
*****
Eons ago, a number of friends kind of took great effort to persuade me to run and seek an electoral position – that of member of a city’s Sangguniang Bayan. They said that my popularity as a member of the press, as a member of community groups and a sports advocate can initiate and instigate a successful calculated campaign. “Amazing!” was all I could say, insanely confused on why I even uttered it.
Since the added and aided influence of San Miguel steered my abysmal thoughts, malumanay kong tinanong ang umpukan “Why not?” followed by a thunderous “NO!” that even Thor or any human graced in civility would find gross.
By invoking political disinterest, I made it crazy clear that I am not cut out to be one of the greedy heat-seeking, power-lusting political missile or firecracker.
Further, I never aspired to give up all the simple pleasures in life, among which are missing and imagining the taste of adobong kangkong, talbos ng kamote salad, pesang dalag, deep-friend hito, biko, palitaw, puto’t kutsinta, taho, buko juice, etc.
Miss and imagine ko rin ang maligo sa ulan, baha, batis at lubluban ng kalabaw; ang mahiga sa damuhan at tumitig sa kalangitang binasbasan ng bilog na buwan at sanlibo’t-isang kumukuti-kutitap na tala; ang tumayo at makipaghuntahan sa kanto maghapon; ang maglaro ng teks, goma, holen, tarak-tarakan, patintero, tumba lata, bahay-bahayan, giyera-giyerahan, habulan, luksong tinik, tambling, taguan, pitik bulag, pen pen de sarapen, at ubod ng dami pang pa.
Every now and then, binabalikang tanaw ko ang aking mga makasaysayan at masayang lumipas. Datapuwat, patuloy ang aking pasasalamat sa Maykapal sa pinagkaloob Niyang biyaya.
*****
In William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Marc Antony insisted that “Ambition is made of sterner stuff.” Not for me. In my high school yearbook, I recall having entered my ambition as “To be an ordinary man.”
Marc added: “And (Roman politician) Brutus is an honourable man.” If so, after Brutus and his ilk were said to have plotted and executed the assassination of Julius Caesar, then I’ll be darned.
So, who wants to be a politician? It had been repeatedly said: Push your “frenemy” into politics and enjoy the best revenge ever.” Dinagdagan pa ng “elections are made to name who to blame.”
Hay, naku! Just thinking. Marahil, ang sinumang mag-udyok sa akin na sumali sa halalan para sa punong-bayan ng lungsod ng Toronto sa ika-26 ng Hunyo ay may masidhing pagkamuhi sa akin.
*****
“Masyadong mabigat. Kailangang bumitaw ang isa,” sigaw ng helicopter pilot sa apat na pulitiko na kapit-tuko sa laylayang bakal ng pagewang-gewang na sasakyan.
Si Hero ay nagsakripisyo ng kanyang buhay. In grateful appreciation, ang lahat ay nagpalakpakan.
*****
I play scrabble. To my incredibly unbelievable credit, I have not been beaten a Roman numeral C consecutively; that is, if a slim victory in the hundredth game is considered a titanic feat. A friend nearly called me a wordsmith, but intently suggested that I stay in Mars.
Frankly, I am at peace with words, which have offered and given me a brilliant perspective to earn my keep, after obligingly washing dishes and throwing out garbage. At the least, I manage to steer away from the ways of world leaders awed by word wars and blabbers who spin and twist words into barbed wires.
A thick and heavy dictionary that once adorned a respectable area of libraries used to be my sacred source of universally-accepted words. It still is, although flying dust and stray cobwebs may be a bit annoying. Likewise, I agree with the age-induced recommendation to avoid weighty loads.
Keeping a dictionary near me is handy, in case forgetfulness strikes.
Technology, indeed, has its fair edge when words are amiss. Today, it takes a quick finger tap and a few ticks to know and understand what a word means, with a thesaurus (no link to any Jurassic creature) to boot.
*****
Thus, when the word syzygy popped out in an episode of Young Sheldon (yes, the whiz kid who was to be Dr. Cooper of The Big Bang Theory fame), the slowing cells in my cranium raced to and traced back whatever memory I might have kept about two newsy celestial spectacles that recently occurred.
Meriam-Webster defines syzygy as the nearly straight-line configuration of three or more celestial bodies, such as the sun, moon, and earth during a solar or lunar eclipse, in a gravitational system.
An online check showed me the lyrics of the popular 70s song Age of Aquarius that went “When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars.” Personally, my mind was more geared towards the next two lines that read “then peace will guide our planets and love will steer the stars.”
Other cyberspace readings told me that a planetary alignment overt to the naked eye happened on March 28, when Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Uranus had a fabulous get-together. Then, on April 11 after sunset, four planets – Mercury, Uranus, Venus and Mars –visibly lined up, but not perfectly straight.
If that is what syzygy is all about, then wow! I just wish that bad weather never had made those nasty visits. People, in these quite struggling times, need a spectacular respite from the heavens to still hope that matters of life will be better in the near future.
Wait for it. This Year 2023 alone, more planetary parades are expected. Avid sky gazers will be looking upward for the evening alignment of Mercury, Uranus, Venus and Mars on April 24; the morning alignment of Uranus, Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn on May 29; the morning alignment of Mercury, Uranus, Jupiter, Neptune and Saturn on June 17; the evening alignment of Mercury, Venus and Mars on July 26; and a night alignment of Uranus, Jupiter, Neptune and Saturn on August 24. Mark your calendars, guys.
Unless overridden by an apocalyptic mushroom cloud, I still pray and hope to witness, on September 8, 2040, the alignment of the crescent Moon with the planets Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.
Seeing the same five planets with Uranus in the morning sky on March 15, 2080 may no longer be plausible for me, but I sure know that my descendants will really enjoy the sight of heavenly bodies.
Anyways, I am grateful to have celebrated a lot birth and wedding anniversaries, attended many holiday reunions with family and friends, and enjoyed what life and lemons gave me. Nothing further, Your Honour.
Wonder of wonders! On May 19, 2161, all solar system planets, including the Earth, will gather on one side of the Sun just before dawn; to be replicated on November 7, 2176 and May 6, 2492.
The last time all eight planets aligned in the sky was on December 28, 2022.
Request ko: Sana ay masilayan ko rin ang kamangha-manghang Aurora Borealis.
*****
By the way, the chance of using syzygy in scrabble to score big is nil.
There are only two “Y” tiles in the game set.
Mabuti pa, tumaya ka na lang sa lotto. Pareho din naman, ‘di ba?
*****
Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen – along with Christina Koch, Victor Glover and Reid Wiseman — are soon space-bound aboard the Orion spacecraft during Artemis II, the second step in NASA’s mission to return astronauts to the moon surface.
All four will not land on the moon, but will orbit for ten days, testing key processes to prepare for Artemis III that will get humans moon-walking in 2025; the first time since 1972, when Neil Armstrong declared “one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.”
Paliwanag: Hindi tutuo ang mga haka-haka na habang minamasid ni Neil ang paligid, nakarinig siya ng “Pssst!” at “Hoy!”
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Hanggang sa susunod na ugnayan, eat well, sleep well and be well. Keep safe. Mabuhay! #####