I vividly remember what my father had shared with me when I was only in high school, life lessons that I still treasure to this day. At a young age, I realized that he valued a caring, supportive family, that he valued the important roles all mothers play.
In his usual calm manner, he said, “I know that you’ll marry someday. If you want to have a happy life, choose a woman with character, a woman who you can be proud of because of her good nature and positive personality. A good woman puts her children’s interests above hers. A good woman creates a strong family.”
Very true!
Indeed, good women, who become great mothers, are the key to the success of many sons and daughters.
Most of us have heard on TV or read news updates about crumbling families and “spoiled” children around the country. If you closely analyze those families, you will realize that some mothers have chosen to put themselves first and their children and families, last. In fact there was this story about a mother who had money to buy her daily whisky and smoke but no money for her child’s milk. Ridiculous but it has happened!
However, the great news is majority of mothers have prioritized their family’s interests, their family’s health and finances, and their family’s values and morals. In our province for instance, I have witnessed so many great mothers who have delayed, even sacrificed, their careers for their kids’ sake. Wow!!
I never suggest that mothers should put everyone’s needs and interest at their expense.
Good mothers never sacrifice their self-respect. Putting family first doesn’t mean giving in to husbands’ many inappropriate demands and abusive behavior. Putting children first doesn’t mean saying “Yes” to their disobedience, disrespect, or never-ending nonsensical requests. Putting family first doesn’t mean having to compromise truth and cover up lies just to keep the peace.
Good mothers always try to establish a balanced lifestyle despite all the demands of family life.
Lori Radun, a family success specialist, suggested eight goals to form “an amazing motherhood.” Out of those eight, I particularly like these two: “Eliminate everything that sabotages your confidence as a woman and as a mom” and “Put your self-care at the top of your to-do list.”
To cope more effectively with all the stresses, it’s important to remove anything that erodes self-worth and confidence. Setting appropriate boundaries with family members should help. It’s necessary to draw a clear demarcation line. Saying “No” or “Not now” should happen when situation calls for it and should send a clear signal of your limits.
Moreover, self-care should be prioritized by all mothers. As you know, they can’t be effective if weakened physically and mentally by the daily grind. The more demands from family members, the healthier mothers should become. Any physical or mental illness is not an option. Or if poor health happens, it should be addressed immediately. Physical exercise, balanced diet, recreational activities, and socialization are therefore a must for busy mothers.
I salute all mothers around the globe who have strengthened their families through their selflessness, love, and dedication.