One morning while out for my coffee break walk downtown, a young man deliberately went out of his way with the intention of bumping me with his shoulder. With the remaining agility of an aging baby boomer left in me, I sidestepped (basic Aikido) and he almost fell to the pavement. Then he looked at me and yelled with his arms outstretched “What? C’mon! Show me what you got!” This was one angry individual. I just looked at him, shook my head and kept on walking. Who knows what he was hiding in those large hooded jacket and loose pants? Besides I thought, he comes from a violent race.
My thought reaction was more bothersome to me than anything. I saw this boy as a member of one particular ethnic group that at that moment I perceived as mean and lacking in civility. I made a stereotype sweep of his whole race based on that incident because of my anger. That wasn’t the first time I did that either.
Many years ago, I overheard a conversation among a group of co-workers of one particular race referring to Asians as g**ks and rice paddy n****rs. That moment planted the seed of stereotypes in me that I began to regard these men’s race as a race of narrow-minded bigots.
There was another instance when my sons were in high school in the late 80s. Coming out of a popular pizza parlor on the west side, a bunch of bearded drunken bikers tried to pick a fight with us. There were about ten of them and three of us, hardly a fair fight particularly noticing the Buck knives strapped to their belts. It is difficult for a Filipino man to walk away from a fight but I did, even after a few choice racial epithets were hurled at us. I had my sons to worry about and I will not jeopardize their safety to a bunch of drunken pot-bellied bikers brandishing the Confederate flag (in Michigan!?). Besides, I thought, all bikers are depraved xenophobic bullies anyway.
In all three occurrences because of my anger, I failed miserably to see the persons as individuals. I associated them with whole ethnic groups and what a few from their groups have done to me in the past. Not a very spiritual stance.
This brings to mind what a friend once said. His view of people is fundamentally influenced by what he sees and experiences out there. He said that he likens it to what he thinks of pit bulls. Not all pit bulls attack people but because the whole breed is known to be mean and aggressive, he doesn’t want any around him or his family. He prefers Labradors and Beagles because they are known for their friendly demeanor.
Should we be making that assumption about human beings? It would be a sad world if we did. My circle of friends resembles the United Nations and I see them as individuals with whom I have a spiritual connection with. I see the spirit rather than the bodies they occupy. I hate it when I fail to do that particularly during those less than pleasant encounters.
I have to keep on trying to see that spiritual connection though. My mother always told me to see the spark of the Holy Spirit in everyone and I love her too much to let her down. But in case I find my self in dangerous situations once in a while, it doesn’t hurt to know a few basic martial arts moves if only to avert possible harm to my aging body. And by the way, I love Labradors and Beagles :o)