My daughter’s shadow

By | February 1, 2022

“Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The shadow knows!” Walter Gibson

I lost my wife to stomach cancer two years ago. We didn’t have any children. I loved my wife and our marriage was rock solid. But that missing piece of having an expanded family, of taking care of children and watching them grow up, that experience was just heart-rending. Then losing my sole companion and best friend in inopportune time, it would surely eat you alive. That’s why I found myself in late nights longing for company to while away the loneliness. But if there’s none, I just resorted to drinking. I usually passed out without any recollection of how I got home or put myself to bed. Being inebriated, though, was helping me wash away the grief, until it became a big problem, so I sought help immediately. I was glad to stop my dangerous slide into alcoholism before it ruined my life completely. I had been sober for a year now. Since then I just preoccupied myself with my job, including bringing home the paperwork at night and weekends.

You see, I’m an executive of a telecom company. I earn six figures and rich enough to be generous. After my wife’s death, I decided to provide a substantial financial support to a small orphanage in Alabang. One day a close friend, who was the director of the orphanage, asked me if I wanted to adopt. There were two girls who were aging out and had to be removed from the premises in accordance with the law. I mulled this over but not for long. 

Their names were Belinda and Isabella. Belinda was older than Isabella by four years. When I first met them I was expecting them to be timid and shy, less talkative even. But I was surprised by their confidence and poise. We got to talking about ourselves. Our conversation was fluid and easy. When I came home, I called my friend right away and told her to start the process. It was completed in a month’s time.

Their living arrangement was a bit unusual. I rented a house, twenty miles away from me, for their sole use as a way to give them space and comfort in our early relationship. That way we could get to know and adjust better without the added pressure of being unfamiliar with one another. In return, I expected them to behave well and be serious with their future, especially their education.

I visited them regularly without notifying them to ensure they didn’t have boyfriends or were not hosting parties in their apartment. They had not disappointed me so far. Their way of entertainment was to sing together. Isabella had a sweet, melodious voice, the real singer, so to speak. Belinda, on the other hand, played the guitar extremely well and rendered the second voice. Their harmony was perfect. I could listen to them for hours without getting bored.

Another rule, which must not be broken at all times, was for Belinda and Isabella to go to church every Sunday. I met them there at a designated place and time. Then we entered the church together as a “family”. After the mass, we drove to our favourite restaurant for brunch. I loved our brunches as my other way of catching up with their activities.

 My decision to adopt Belinda and Isabella was turning quite well. They were really good girls. Isabella was still in high school while Belinda was now in her second year as a law student. She was quite determined to become a lawyer. She told me that as soon as she passed the bar, she would apply as a legal counsel for an adoption agency so she could help orphans like her. She spent most of her time studying in the law library. But Belinda still managed to work part-time on weekends in a famous clothing store at Alabang Super Mall. She said she liked to earn a little bit of money to ease her way towards independence. She’s trying to be responsible and mature early. As much as I didn’t like the idea, I must support and respect her decision.

The shadow started innocently. He spotted Belinda in the mall and began pursuing her. First, he gave her a box of chocolates. A month later, he bought a dozen of roses to be delivered in Belinda’s apartment. After that some stuffed animals. On and on the shadow did the gift-giving for several months to gain Belinda’s trust.

True to her desire to complete her law education, Belinda refused to be swayed by the shadow’s unwanted but persistent romantic gesture. She told the shadow gently that she could not be in a relationship. But the shadow could not be deterred. He installed a GPS location device in Belinda’s car so he would know where she was anytime of the day. He even managed to secure a copy of the keys to her apartment. The shadow was turning to have a more sinister side. Isabella and I never met him.

On February 5, Belinda went missing. Isabella and I went to the police station to report her disappearance. For days and days, we waited anxiously for the outcome of the police investigation. I even asked my wealthy friends to pressure the police. But they always found an excuse for their inactions. Doing nothing, though, was not an option. It would definitely drive me nuts. So Isabella and I decided to do our own search. We first printed flyers of Belinda’s picture and asked the businesses at the mall if they could circulate them among their customers. Then we scoured dark alleys and garbage dumps.

On February 14, the day of the hearts, we found her body in a hidden space behind a garbage dump, beaten, bound and strangled. Our hearts sunk. How did such a promising, young life as Belinda’s could end up in a tragic way? Words escaped us. All Isabella and I could do was cry. We hugged each other ever so tightly. We only had each other to overcome this tragedy. When there were no more tears to shed, we called the police.

After the police finished conducting autopsy, they released Belinda’s body to us. We prepared her funeral. Later in the week, the police informed us they had a male suspect but didn’t give us a name or show a picture of him. In the cemetery, though, a strange man turned up bearing a floral arrangement and wearing a T-shirt with Belinda’s photograph and the feminist slogan “Not One More Woman” printed on it. Who was this guy? Was this a friend of Belinda or a classmate? Could this be Belinda’s shadow? If he were, how stunning was his boldness? I watched him intently and noted his every move. I discreetly took his picture while he was throwing a flower on Belinda’s coffin as it was lowered to the ground.  

I showed the police the photo and they confirmed that he was their person of interest. They warned me, though, not to confront him lest he might escape or do harm to Isabella. The police immediately acted to obtain an arrest and search warrant. Once   they got it, they nabbed him and searched his house for possible incriminating evidence. They took his cell phone and found a GPS location data showing he had been with Belinda. The police also took a sample of his hair and found to match the DNA under Belinda’s fingernails.

We were condemned in the social media. People couldn’t believe we allowed the monster attend Belinda’s burial. There’s no use arguing with people of narrow minds. They passed judgment easily without knowing the big picture. But for us, the important thing was for the police to grab him successfully and lock him in jail forever. 

I wouldn’t make that mistake again. After the funeral, I took Isabella home to live with me. From now on I’d be more of a real father to Isabella. It’s better to be overly-protective than to lose another loved one. I could only hope that Isabella wouldn’t feel restricted. After all, she still needed her freedom to grow and live her life. But I hired a bodyguard to be her “good” shadow nevertheless.

I know it’s too late now for Belinda and I will carry the guilt forever. But I will do anything to make Isabella safer. That will be my sole mission for the rest of my life. 

We all have our shadows in sunnier days to keep us company to all the journeys we take in life. We don’t give them much attention because they are harmless. They don’t get on our way in their silent and unique way. Yet evil lurks like a shadow too and it targeted Belinda. She was stalked by this menacing shadow in life and even after her death. How could you prevent it? 

20 January 2022