“I want people to think of me as a person, not a personality” Michael Jackson
Organizers of the Michael Jackson Memorial held July 7, 2009, were nervous. Would it be mourning or a celebration? Would the crowd be uncontrollable? One and a half million applied for a ticket to attend; the venue could only accommodate twenty thousand. There was another theatre across the road that could accommodate seven thousand; they could witness the occasion through a film projected on the screen. How was the schedule? Was it under control? Were the eulogists (or performers?) in their proper places?
A remark here; a remark there! Were they holding a funeral in the cemetery? The private ceremony in the cemetery was over. The procession (or was it a parade?) was moving toward the Staples Center. The roads were clear. It seemed people took the advice – only those with tickets and security bracelets were around the place. Why not? Three thousand policemen, a third of the Los Angeles Police force were out on duty.
And then at about one in the afternoon, ten o’clock in the morning in Los Angeles, the gold-plated casket pedecked with red roses was brought in by the Jackson brothers and some close friends, into the jam-packed hall as a choir filled the air with “We’re going to see the king?”
It was quiet but not quite. Was it going to be a neurological service or a celebration? The audience was filled with awe. Here were the remains of the man whom one of the speakers called the greatest entertainer that ever lived. What were we going to witness? And the ceremony began.
I am not a Michael Jackson fan. I was born before his time. I did not go to any of his performances nor viewed any of his videos. I was more mesmerized by the reactions of his fans than by his performances. But there I was on that day swayed by the power of the media in the last thirteen days when all other news were eclipsed by the sudden demise of this man I watched this memorial for him.
It was both a grieving and a celebration. Speakers and singers stood on that stage and heaped their praise for this man. They recalled how he influenced their lives and the whole world. Anecdotes about him were told reminiscing about his life since he was five years old. A number of speakers tried to identify their roles in discovering his fantastic creative talents, his unique dancing skills, his tireless commitment to his art, and his demand for perfection. One of them dealt on his political and social influence. There were others who spoke of him with great love, who seemed to have delved deeper into this person to reveal not what he was but who he was.
Who really was Michael Jackson? His period of entertaining was not very long but it was powerful, attention-gripping and maniacal. The youth (as well as the not so young) were swayed by his music and dancing. He started early with his brothers but later on gripped the public on his own. His style was unique; his “moonwalk” was fantastic and incomparable.
But the popularity, after a while, seemed to wane. His appearances became fewer and fewer. But he did not entirely disappear. Tabloids started printing about him, reporting somewhat strange events. There were those cosmetic surgeries, his building of a place of fantasy called Neverland and then later on those scandals with children involved. Photographs published appeared of him to be white. He was not performing but he continued to entertain. What had happened to Michael Jackson?
With all the fuss about this personality, we seemed to have forgotten the person, the living, human being who started to be placed under this stress of popularity and the demands such focus of the limelight brought at an early age. Having discovered that he had talents, people around him never left him alone. Here was a mine of gold that could bring wealth and recognition to the family and those other people who had the opportunity to manage his future, his talents, and his performances. Very early in life, Michael Jackson started to become a celebrity who had to be constantly pushed to become a star. He had to work incessantly with great discipline when other children of this age were carefree, playing, enjoying life, as children should.
Brooke Shields captured a part of the essence of Michael Jackson’s life when she spoke of his love to do what young people love to do: laugh, make jokes, make friends, play.
The stress of a very demanding life that started very early, in his childhood, took a toll. The rebellious tendency that was gleaned in Michael Jackson’s performances found an outlet with the wealth and recognition that came to his life. He tried to go back to childhood in his manhood. The opportunities were there, the wealth he accumulated was able to produce the setting. His millions bought Neverland. He equipped the place with all the toys. He went on shopping sprees. The playground was perfect!
When the setting was done, he needed playmates. He invited children to his fantasyland. Many came enamored by the host and by the highly talked-about place for frolic. But Michael Jackson forgot something (or did he self-deny it?): he was not a child anymore. The world did not see him as a child. He was a man. In Paul McCartney’s words – a boy-man.
Michael Jackson was never convicted in any of the cases filed against him in court accusing him of child molestation. Many of his friends were ready to swear that he never committed such an offense. Some who were very close to him described him as a shy, soft-spoken very private person. But it was rumored that he spent millions and had to be deeply in debt to settle those accusations.
He planned a comeback to pay those debts. Fifty performances? And the tickets were selling fast. He had to prepare for these concerts to ensure their success. Back to the stresses and demands of a star’s life. “This is the last,” he said in one of the promo shots.
And then he was dead.
“Too soon!” Usher lamented in his tribute.
“I never dreamed you’d leave in summer,” Stevie Wonder mourned.
Is 50 the summer in life?
To Michael Jackson it appeared to be the Fall
The end has some come to the King of Pop, the end to his life that was full of complexities and insecurities, the end to all the accusations, sarcasms and vilifications. The overwhelming love portrayed by his family, friends and fans in his memorial will reverberate for a while, the demand for his videos will start to wane but the memory of that person who vainly searched for his childhood shall remain.