How are you feeling today?

These last recent weeks, the newspapers, radio and television had been dominated by news and commentaries about the” wedding of the century”. The event had brought a lot of excitement, anticipation and discussions that other news items have seemed to be eclipsed. WE heard very little of the development in Japan after the March 12 earthquake and Moamar Gadhafi’s face had seemed to fade away.
The lives of Prince Williams and Kate Middleton have become open books scrutinized by the world. People, who have touched their lives no matter how long or briefly, had been interviewed and appeared on television. The places they had been to were also featured. Business minded people had made fortunes by manufacturing and selling all kinds of souvenirs from imitations of the engagement ring, the dresses that the bride to be had been seen wearing to tea towels and tote bags bearing the images or pictures of the couple.
In a way, this preoccupation had been good for the public. It had momentarily diverted our attention from the horrific wars and rebellions, the anxieties of the feared radiation from nuclear plants in Japan and the sadness of hearing everyday news of domestic violence and gangland shootings in neighbourhoods. Some sad events that could have been on the front page of newspapers and leading news on television had barely been given attention recently.
The “wedding of the century” had indeed been a joyous diversion to majority of the people in all circles of life, young and old, rich and poor, schooled and unschooled. Advanced technology had brought the event to the access of everybody. Even the homeless could have witnessed the whole shindig from televisions in malls and other public places. Everybody had experienced vicariously how it felt to wear gowns and suits that cost a whole year’s food budget and even more seated in that awesome abbey and watching the wedding procession.
The wedding is now over and we are back to the realities of life – the everyday worries and anxieties. There is the mortgage to be paid, the rising cost of food, illnesses, betrayal of a partner, failures in school and in jobs, disobedience and lies of loved ones and countless other frustrations.
Many of them are real while others are sometimes imagined. Whether they are real problems or products of an anxious mind, they disturb us and affect our emotions. They arouse anger and fear.
These two negative feelings have several shades – from the mildest to the extremes. Anger may just be displeasure, annoyance, boredom or frustration but the extreme can be hate, fury, ire, wrath or rage. Anger can be short-lived or persistent.
There are people who are short-tempered. They easily get angry, even about trivial things. They seem to be always on edge. They are tense and hardly even smile. Their body language speaks their feelings. They often misinterpret good intentions as attacks against their personalities.
Often people who appear disagreeable and difficult to get along with have had sad life histories. They may have been abused in childhood or have suffered extreme poverty and oppression. They are not angry with a particular person or event but with life as a whole. They need a lot of understanding and love. Children who are raised in homes with constant domestic violence grow up to be the angry people of this world. The violence they experienced becomes a part of their personalities. These are the young people who easily become members of criminal gangs. When they establish family relations, they repeat the violence that they experienced while they were growing up.
Anger is a natural emotion that everybody experiences. It is a sign that one is sensing something he/she does not approve of whether it is intrinsically right or wrong. What is significant is what one does when angry. Our choice of behaviour in response to our anger is the key in controlling the dangerous consequences of this emotion. We need to realize that we can control our behaviour if we think before we react to the situation that has angered us.
We should also remember that alcohol and dangerous drugs diminish our control and inhibitions and can cause us to behave drastically when angry or afraid.
Most of the time, anger is caused by being hurt by the action of other individuals or groups. It is usually our self-pride that is bruised. The tendency is for us to want to retaliate; to win. But retaliation does not usually end up in being victorious. There can be dire consequences. If we bear in mind, this reality, we can probably avoid some very sad results of surge of anger. We cannot control other people; we can only control ourselves.
Another negative emotion is fear. Sometimes fear can be positive. It may prevent us from doing something drastic. It is also said that some people have done heroic things out of fear. There are also people who manifest anger out of fear. And there are those who are fearless even in the face of obvious danger.
Whether it is fear or anger that we are experiencing what is important to remember is not to allow either emotion to overcome our thinking. If we allow our reasoning power to prevail, our anger or fear will diminish and we can choose the right behaviour for survival.