I was about to continue my piece on P Noy when visiting the link for Philippine Newspapers I was distracted and decided to write instead an article about what comes to mind reading mere headlines –without going into the content –and call it: A Day In Print Media Headlines In Manila. So without mentioning the names of the newspapers and just choose the headlines good or bad, rubbish or whatever this is the result.
“Urban decay threatens hot Ph economy”. In its negative connotations decay means rigor mortis, decomposition, deterioration, dying, perishing, crumbling. Urban decay means old, bankrupt, dirty, unkempt, smelly, unhealthy, dangerous, uncollected rotting garbage, anarchic slum areas which used to be thriving centers of commerce, bad cops beggars and homeless.
Hot Ph economy can not by all means stay or remain hot like hot coffee or hot milk unless underneath the cup is a burner. Hot coffee continues to cool like when one feels the cool after a hot shower. The laws of physics are light years away from the assumptions of economics. Even if Erap’s Manila is the microcosm model of urban decay cooling dragging down Philippine economy , the other cities of Quezon. Makati, Mandaluyong, Pasig, Iloilo, Cebu, Davao and a few more for sure will keep the economy warm enough like brewed Nescafe. Unless content is read and understood hot Ph economy fails to attract as hot babes and hot hunks wanting cool sex.
“Do CCTVs help deter crimes? — Can craving for food deter hunger? Can policemen deter crimes when the courts don’t and can’t jail the criminals? Nonsense headline when CCTVs are off or out of order while a crime is in progress. It is food that deters hunger; it is jail that makes crimes does not pay.
“Why Filipino scientist should return to homeland”— They should not have left in the first place. Albert Einstein left Germany for a reason so different it’s best he left for good. Filipino scientists can and should only go home when their reasons for leaving no longer exist. Otherwise they should just stay put as is where is and remain being heroes like OFWs sending dollars home.
“Bong’s lawyer fear for client’s safety” What happened to Bong’s invincibility as Panday and what not? Inside prisons it is normal for convicted lawmen to fear for their safety as it is extra normal for criminals to find easy comraderie. A prison is not a place for beauties.
“IMF warns global economy at risk, calls for bold action” –Fire them workers by the thousands, give more stocks and increase bonuses to CEOs. That’s proven boldest of actions.
“Was Binay right in declaring early his presidential bid? –when reporters wants misleading answers they asked a lollipop question like when the question should be: “Was Binay wrong in declaring early his presidential bid?” Sagot alam na dahil sa resultang sangkatutak na problema ni Vice Pres. Binay.
“Voters urged to choose wisely in 2016” — from the or among the amounts being offered? Who is campaigning illegally? The COMELEC for God’s sakes? this early?
“Na-holdap na batang vendor, tumanggap ng bisekleta” Ano naman ang tinanggap noong nang holdap? Eh yung nakahuli sa nang holdap, may tinanggap din ba? Kanino galing?
“Charice: Kung gwapo kaya ako, iba kaya ang trato?” –Kitang-kita agad sa tanong kung ano ang naging trato. Tratong tila hindi malayong mabago sa tulong ng siruhano.
“Charice, gusto nga bang maging transsexual?” Is this news? Meron ba tayong pakialam ? Wala. Pero puede naman segurong sulatin ang pumasok agad sa kaisipan. I wrote a long piece about this. Short excerpt below:
Sa Tagalog Meron tayong bansag
Kelot kilos bebot tawag ay bakla
Bebot damdaming kelot tawag ay tomboy
Kay gandang seksi trannie siyoki palang inopera
Mas poging tranno meron na rin ba?
The point is not to mock, insult
Or disrespect these persons’ being
The point is to understand, appreciate,
And accept any creatures’ being
Robots they are not, human or animals
Almighty’s Nilalang have God given rights.
‘Several bank accounts a sign of laundering’ – for country of a hundred million people to a joker that will mean banks awash with dirty cash, truckloads of detergents for banks washing machines and gainful employment for labanderas. However, several bank accounts by individuals are nothing; just a drop in the bucket; not a cause for money laundering worry for a populous country with expertly practised endemic corruption.
“Binay fails to stop probe” — Poor Vice Pres Binay, as City Mayor he was alluded to as traffic violator because of his wangwang, now as number two in the land he is being demoted to a traffic cop who “fails to stop probe,” in the heavy corruption traffic infesting Metro-Manila.
“De Lima: The issue is Makati’s corruption” –to those bred, born, schooled, employed, and lived all their lives in Makati that remark of Sec De Lima is sad and confusing. It run aground almost everyone. BUT and that’s a big BUT a reporter’s news Headline is seldom imperfect as it misleads, sensationalizes, deodorizes lies or strongly purveys THE TRUTH.
For this corny piece blame not Tanauan’s Jose Laurel Guevarra, my favorite Manila Times columnist in the days of yore (60s onwards) and to the nights of martial law; some molecules of his wit and bits of his sense of funny humor perhaps got stuck in my neurons. Funny or despicably satirical the message remains not his but mine. I am the messenger lest he, JLG turns in his grave.