My Name is Infinitus

By | December 1, 2022

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” – Louise Penny, The Madness of Crowds (2021)

“A future that might bring about our end does not negate the majesty of the journey we are still taking.” – Lawrence M. Krauss, The Greatest Story Ever Told – So Far: Why Are We Here? (2017)

You can call me Infinitus, if you like, for I am just a concept. I have no beginning or an ending, but I am not Deus or Zeus of mythical names from the past. Nor am I the God or Allah of the present. I simply come into being without a cause. I exist through time and space and I have seen a lot at the very beginning when everything was just a dark matter.

Then in one moment of time, explosions after explosions occurred, forming stars and planets in the universe. Scientists explained the event as the Big Bang Theory, but I am not here to affirm or deny. 

 But of all the planets that were formed only Earth showed living forms. Many creatures have come and gone in billions of years until the human species evolved in just thousands of years. The humans become the Master of the Earth, growing in population year after year and developing gadgets and technology to kill their own or develop tools to make their lives comfortable and easier. Yet, in spite of their advances, they are as scared as their ancestors.

At first, she was called Mother Nature for her loving sustenance, just like any typical mother will do, and aiding humans in their survival. But sometimes Mother Nature had an angry way of showing her displeasure with a clap of thunder as one example. Then humans realized Mother Nature couldn’t be a she because of her tempestuous temper. Mother Nature was renamed the High Spirit with a man’s temper. 

High Spirit was everywhere – in the wind, in the forest, in the sky above, in the mountains, in the ocean, except in the mind and body of human. For the High Spirit to be present, humans must surrender their mind and body wholeheartedly manifested in sacrifices. The ritual of sacrifices took many forms. Chants and dances were the most innocuous; human sacrifices were the bloodiest when the High Spirit couldn’t seem to be pacified. These went on for years and years until they evolved into the simple ritual of a Mass.

The High Spirit turned into a Divine Being, the Creator of all things the eyes could see and high above the heavens. He did not mingle with humans but they assumed He was their Greatest Protector. They lavished Him with absolute reverence. Yet He seemed to be indifferent to human sufferings. They called His name and pleaded for righteousness and justice. If only He could be human, they entreated; then He would be more sympathetic.

 They waited and waited and waited. Their plea seemed to be answered for there’s a rumour circulating in the land of Palestine that a Saviour or a Messiah would come in their midst. Why Palestine? The rest of humanity wondered. But the Jews, who were chosen to experience the presence of the human God, were definitely ecstatic. “Here I am,” said the man called Jesus Christ. “I bring you love and redemption. Those who believe in me will inherit heaven, where my Father and I will welcome you with eternal bliss. Don’t despair when my stay here on earth is short. My death is the ultimate sacrifice that my Father would only acknowledge for you all to enter His kingdom.” But, surprisingly, the Jews rejected him. They accused him of being an impostor and threw him at the feet of Pontius Pilate for stiff judgment – to die on a cross.

In other parts of the Earth, other human gods sprouted – Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius and Zarathustra. But the Roman Empire dispensed with their pagan gods and elevated the mystery of the Holy Trinity whose believers were called Christians (yes, the same Christ that the Jews rejected). They built the greatest Church of all where the Pope, the earthly heir to Jesus Christ, resides. The Pope’s power comes directly from God so his words are also God’s.   

Humans were tribalistic in nature. For that reason, violent conflicts were very common. Soon the fights would expand to larger groups. Deadly weapons were invented: from rocks, spears, swords, bows and arrows to cannons, guns and bombs. Humans were very creative in devising killing tools for their massive annihilation. They had two world wars so far causing the estimated deaths of 20 million in the First World War and 40 million in the Second World War. The costs of these two big wars were enormous. So they learned to put their grievances aside and live in peace together. But from time to time, small conflicts still occur until the War that will end all wars will finally happen. 

 The humans are setting their sights in space explorations. They are shooting satellites and space stations. They are sending robotic spacecraft in other planets to find living forms and livable areas. They even went to the moon but they scrapped the mission after several attempts. They are shooting lots of pictures of galaxies and meteorites. Now they are envisioning a commercial space adventure. If they could explore further and further away into the dark space, what would this prove? Will God still exist?

There seems to be no limit to human ingenuity. The humans have come a long way, from no clothes to the most fashionable outfits they can buy. The leap is astounding: they can travel anywhere in the world by airplanes and communicate with each other with small devices in their hands. Life for sure is better than before. But it can be very vulnerable with an invisible germ that can cause pandemic. But the humans are also quick to develop the vaccines to counter the deadly impact of the virus.

I like these humans. Their works of arts are a beauty to behold. Let me start with their music. From just a playful whistling of the mouth to a soothing voice that can elevate the soul, their songs speak volumes of so many emotions. From the ragtag improvisation to varied sounds of musical instruments, the beats and blending will sway motion of uncontrollable desires. 

How their words can move mountain. Like this man whose colour of his skin caused his people to be highly discriminated but yet able to make a reverberating speech when he said: “I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, sons of former slaves and sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood…Let freedom ring.”

They produce stories and store them in libraries where people can freely enter and lose their time enjoying the adventure as if they were there witnessing it all. They record truths and histories to remind themselves to remember and take lessons. They secure knowledge and wisdom for the next generations to learn from. They also document everything in films for posterity. 

Then there are painters and sculptors and photographers whose works are showcased in museums, studios and parks. People see and wonder; what does it mean? There is no real answer; it is subject to individual’s interpretation. Sometimes a moment of revelation will pop out, “I think I got it,” only to be dissuaded later on with a more intelligent comment. 

I am a cold observer. I see things as they are but try not be entangled in a web of emotion and judgment. If it is all about rationality, then morality does not prevail. But the world of humans is not like that. They judge, they criticize, they fight, they empathize, and they love – in the many warbling sound of sensation. I like to live a limited time so I don’t see no more. But it’s never going to happen.

I would like to tell humans to love their planet Earth and not destroy it with their insatiable desires and excessive inventions. Growth is a positive thing but is not limitless. It is not infinity; greed is not a necessity. But humans can be very blind for their own good. And though there are a few of them who tell the truth, most do not listen. They stick to their righteousness. Lies become facts. They aspire for a better world far beyond, always hoping that there is such a world. 

They think it is better to hope than lose completely the purpose and meaning of life. I grant them that illusion because who am I to disagree? I am just a concept so they can grasp my being. I may not exist except for their insistence. It is always wise to accept than to deny.

So here I remain travelling far and wide and into eternity. I am invisible to the naked eye, but there is a possibility one can see me when one can love the truth absolutely. But what is this truth? Are humans capable of truth?

I dare not to lose faith in humans. So if you were reading this, would you believe in what I just said? Would you give me the benefit of the doubt? Would you change your mind with my interpretation of events? Or would you dismiss me completely?   

No matter what you may come up with, I am here to bear witness and tell you all so you can understand.

23 November 2022