MetroM is experiencing, over the past two weeks, hiatus from rainshowers and rains- restful pa rin ang weather, meaning, malamig- lamig, masarap- sarap maglakad outside of the airconditioned malls, and, pakiramdam ko lang ha, nakatulong ang existing weather na ito sa ‘mood’ ng Pinoy city- dweller- maganda- ganda naman ang hwisyo ng marami nating ordinaryong kababayan ( kasali ako sa classification ‘common folks’) sa mga panahong ito.
Fear ko lang that soon, mababanas na naman si ordinary commuter kasi nag- announce na ang weather office ng Pag- asa na hanggang end of Feb na lang ang kaaya- ayang lamig ng panahon. Papasok na raw ang summer sa month of March- eyowww! Ang bilis naman! Soon, we would see mga nakakunot- noong mga Pinoy commuters na naman, may mga problema, of course (sino ba naman ang wala, no matter how small) pero pinasobra pa dahil sa mainit na panahon. Eoyowww talaga! Sasambitin na naman namin na’ buti pa kayo dyan sa Canada, malamig ang panahon.’
I was already on board the last trip (3pm) for the day of an old- looking but umaariba pa ring Fides bus plying the Divisoria- Sta Lucia Mall route on my way home after a regular pamamalengke and pakikichika spree in my favorite haunt (Divisoria, where else?) when I learned about the untimely and for me, very sad death of a former government official of the Estrada and Arroyo administrations, Gen. Angelo Reyes. My source was a fellow passenger who sat beside me as we were all waiting for the bus to fill with passengers bound for until the end of that route( Espana- Sta. Mesa- JRuiz in San Juan, Cubao, Aurora Blvd. and all the way to Cainta) regular riders all as almost everyone was chikang- chika with the driver and conductor.
Stop daw ang programming ng lahat ng tv and many radio stations kaninang umaga at tanghali to make the announcement, according to fellow bus rider. As expected, sari- sari namang kuru- kuro emanated from all the waiting passengers. Talagang very analytical na ang Pinoy. Most of their thoughts are tunay na malaman and very relevant. Ako naman, despite the happy feeling of accomp-lishment before boarding that bus ( kasi naman, marami akong naiuwing bargain sale at pagkamumura at magagandang items for the family) ay nakaramdam ng matinding lungkot. Later, as I got home and was resting my tired feet on a couch at a quiet corner of my sala, I tried to analyze why I felt this way- I have not had a chance to meet the General but I read all about his professional activities in broadsheets and the Net. Honestly, ‘ala naman kaming things in common kaya medyo nagtaka ako sa aking lungkot na naramdaman.
I was so sorry for the General, for the manner of his demise. I would like to believe that there was something medically amiss (tulad ba ng sinasabi ng mga pamphlets ng Natasha Goulbourn Foundation, organized by fashion icon Jeanne to help people who are depressed ( Jeanne Goulbourn’s beautiful daughter Natasha also committed suicide at the tender age of 23). Sayang, maybe kung naagapan ay naharap sana ni General ng buong tapang (tulad ng katapangang ipinakikita nya noon sa lahat ng gawaing ibigay sa kanya) ang kanyang mga personal na suliranin.
I felt sad for the ones he left behind. Ang kanilang human feelings, dahil sila ang naulila ay matindi- missing him, asking unanswered questions over and over, and at times, blaming themselves and wondering if they showed enough love for him while he was still alive.
Pinakamatindi siguro para sa akin ang kalungkutang di na sya makapagpapahayag ng maraming kasagutang inaantay ng maraming Pilipinong nagulantang sa pagsabog ng ilang sekretong umiiral na kalakaran ng pananalapi sa Armed Forces of the Philippines. If he were alive and had chosen to make similar revelations as the ones made by AFP whistleblower Col. George Rabusa, ano kaya naman ang mga detalyeng ibibigay nya. Would ‘esprit de corps’ pressure him not to say a word? Not to rat on anyone as Col Rabusa did?
I will not dwell or judge people’s actions, neither will I attempt to connect ties between these and the suicide. Sa mga pagkakataong ito, ang hirap gumawa ng maski napakaliliit na mga sapantaha. Para bang nagdudunung- dunungan ako e ni wala pa sa katiting ang aking nalalaman.
All I know is that I am one of many who pray that something good will come out of this sad event. I hope that this result will be good for the Pinoy who has, in many times past, cried for justice and katarungan, for fairness, for reaping what benefits he is entitled to, for not being the victim all the time, for being accorded due respect as a dutiful citizen and as a human being.
THANK YOU, TORONTO.
