“ Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw
In the third installment of this series of quotations, we explore George Bernard Shaw’s aphorism that sets us on a path of creative growth.
Sometimes, it takes an unexpected moment to realize how we’ve become bogged down by things of importance that exist only in our minds. “ A legend in your own mind”, so to speak. A conversation with a contractor friend sparked a realization for me: I was putting too much energy into trying to protect records that are as old as 60 years. He told me that since the 1990s, when computerization took off in earnest, he had kept all his floppy disks and related paraphernalia. He humorously described all this “baggage”—which includes records of his travels, business transactions, and other timeworn documents—as weighing him down. He considers it retrogressive, a burden in a forward-looking life.
I found myself thinking, “It might as well be me.”
A recent search for a document prompted me to sift through a stash of records dating back to the late 1960s. I thought I had cleared out the “attic” of irrelevant papers from the past, only to find myself staring at tax returns and car purchases from the 1970s. (In Canada, only the past six years of tax returns are required.) The more I searched, the more I realized the irrationality of keeping so many things: student record books, archery purchases, karate attendance records, and documents from the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s.
So, how is this relevant to George Bernard Shaw’s axiom? Our old identity is recorded through the pictures and documents of our past. Forging a new character is a forward-looking process that involves our responses to life events as they unfold. It is a dynamic, enduring system of reinvention that affects our ability to accept change as a regular part of life.
In my earlier life, I embraced photography not only as a hobby and a learning activity but also as a creative outlet. In the process, I accumulated reams of black-and-white negatives, colour slides, and Super 8 films. I still keep a Kodak slide projector and an 8mm film projector—even though I have digitized many of my “keepsakes.”
UNDECIDED,6-7
Now, I’ve realized: who cares? Really? Your children know who you are, where you have been, and what you have experienced. They have pictures and mementos from the past, and they have their own lives to focus on. Have you noticed how the generation gap has widened over the years? How well do you connect with your grandchildren? Certainly, not as closely as we did with our grandparents. The world is changing so rapidly that if you don’t recreate yourself, you risk becoming a “same-old, same-old,” an old fart, if you will. That is not my idea of fading away in old age; I see every day as an opportunity for growth, not a review of the past.
In frustration, I bundled up pictures, slides, negatives, and films and threw them out. Thank goodness for the city’s free shredding service! I also have boxes of student records, receipts, assessment notices, and other documents ready for disposal. While following a long line of seniors one day, I saw the same resigned expressions as they set out box after bankers box of papers, much more than I had. Despite making numerous trips to Goodwill and the Salvation Army, I know I will have to make even more trips.
When discussing this with friends who have transitioned from a house to a condo, I’ve found this is a common dilemma. Some have chosen to rent public storage space in a futile attempt to hold on to memories, but I know that is just a temporary escape. “Out of sight, out of mind!” I’ve already gone through that and more.
Donated to KCCC ( Kalayaan Cultural Community Centre )
There was a garage sale, lots of items for donation, and I sent parcels and suitcases to my son in Newfoundland ( until he said: Please, no more! ) Now, it’s time to tackle the soft items hiding under the bed and in the deep recesses of the closet and utility room. Eighty years of living inevitably lead to a confrontation with a mountain of belongings—and I am not even counting my wife’s effects. If you live in a condo, you must regularly clear out space.
Going for a song!: Professional Competition Archery
There is an element of sentimentality and a cultural resistance to change when dealing with the past. As a schoolteacher, I, like many others in various professions, have an enduring attachment to the memories of years gone by—the countless organizations I’ve been part of, the notable people I’ve met, and those who have helped me along the way.
Perhaps I am overly nostalgic. I still recall the faces of my classmates from institutions like the National College of Physical Education at Rizal Memorial Stadium in Manila (1968) or a brief stint at a Marine Laboratory in the University of Okayama in Japan (1970). I even recall being a film extra alongside Vic Vargas while we were members of the Sampaloc Judo Club in Manila (1965). A significant portion of this is vividly stored in my cerebral cortex. Many of these experiences are detailed in my recently published book, “Memories and Reflections.”
Isn’t it acceptable to savour the memories? Is there room for reinventing myself? That’s precisely the point: to make space for new ideas, we must first remove old distractions—just like clearing out old furniture.
Our identity is not a fixed, predetermined entity; it evolves in response to our environment. The choices we make in response to changing circumstances drive us toward a more fulfilling life, one liberated from societal expectations. There is greater satisfaction in not merely fitting in; it involves actively shaping ourselves into who we want to be rather than passively allowing others to define us.
Fitting in is a double-edged sword. While our ability to conform is essential for socialization, it can either be a blessing or a hindrance to imaginative growth. In my book, “Memories and Reflections,” I discuss this dilemma, noting (in the third person) “He limits his alliances with predictable outcomes, a practice that keeps his ‘cognitive reorganization’ on a dynamic and productive path.” This doesn’t diminish the value of differing perspectives, but surrounding ourselves with the same predictable viewpoints can lead to stagnation.
As I near my 80th year, I’ve grown impatient with nonsense. Every experience and challenge presents an opportunity for learning and self-discovery, continually contributing to our personal growth and development. I find myself in “catch-up” mode, having spent much of my early life trying to fit in. While I see myself as average, I now embrace the famous Dr. Seuss quote: “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
The reality is that a steady diet of malaise and weakness can shape us into the very people we wish to avoid. Self-realization cannot be achieved by subordinating ourselves to the desires of others.
As someone who values science, I find empowerment in ongoing experiences rather than adhering to static, preconceived notions. For me, stepping away from traditional church practices was the first casualty of this mindset, soon followed by rituals and structured exhortations—repetitive messages that remain unchanged since childhood. How can we reinvent ourselves in such a stifling environment? Where are the opportunities for growth?
Let us not lose sight of how organizations and governments can make headway with a change mindset. The most progressive countries of the world are those that are on the cusp of a forward-looking ethos. We don’t have to look elsewhere to prove this point—our old country is the poster child for getting stuck with antiquity, to our detriment.
Filipinos have never understood the meaning of ( Christian or Whatever ) faith. To us, it begins and ends with ritual (i.e., attending church or Good Friday Passion, Veneration of the Cross, etc.). I learned that in my parochial school and through my undergraduate years at a Catholic University. Every religion lesson is about tradition and observance. Kindness, compassion, reason, and empathy were never part of the equation. Just look at all the church-going politicians currently under investigation in the corruption probe today. Nothing new there. We are fertile ground for the beast to flourish. But hey, the church preaches forgiveness, so then, they will be back to steal and cheat again.
Religion has been weighing us down for generations. Fear has subjugated us so severely that many will never entertain being out of it.
This aligns with George Bernard Shaw’s insight: We cannot navigate life merely by being nudged toward self-discovery. Traditional religion often emphasizes limitations instead of unlocking our full potential. Overcoming obstacles and accomplishing our goals are rewards that come from taking personal responsibility for our self-realization.
Religion is an ideology that makes us dependent on a mythical figure with a self-proclaimed power to shape our destiny. The so-called free will is an escape clause that frees them of responsibility when things go south. Enlightenment, however, offers a clear and objective path to personal growth and self-improvement. Alas, 2000 years of myth and superstition continue to preach intolerance and put the world in a state of never-ending wars.
As Peter Drucker wisely said, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
Edwin de Leon, M.Ed ,
Edwin is the author of “Memories and Reflections”. Published in 2023. Still available from eBay or by email from the author. C$20 plus shipping.